The telephone is an acceptable second choice if necessary. It leaves too much room for misinterpretation, and years of experience proves that it rarely ends well. Do not handle any negative situation by email or text message. Don’t make up excuses as to why you are the exception to Jesus’ command.Īnd you should go in person. So whatever the conflict, do not hide, isolate, withdraw, assume you’ll get over it, etc. If you have something against someone, or they have something against you (the only 2 possibilities), Jesus tells you to go to them.
These two passages are bookends in conflict resolution. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 18:15-16 Jesus said, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. First go and be reconciled to your brother then come and offer your gift.” And later in Matt. 5:23-24 Jesus said, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. Ask, “How can I show humility in this situation, Lord?” If you find yourself stuck in conflict and unable to resolve it, pride on one or both sides is probably keeping you stuck. So humble yourself under God’s mighty hand (1 Peter 5:6) and watch what He does. Love and pride do not go together (1 Cor 13:4). Remember that God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Pride will blind you to your own contribution to the conflict and keep you from repenting. Pride will cause you to nurse your offense. Pride will keep you focused on the wrongness of the other person and your rightness (Prov. Without humility it’s nearly impossible to resolve conflict. Humility is the key to conflict resolution.
Pray for the other brother or sister (Luke 6:27). Ask God to give you His heart and to see through His eyes. Pray against the evil one, lies, pride, disunity, division, selfishness, self-deception, unforgiveness. Pray for the Holy Spirit’s guidance at each moment. He asks you, “Will you lay down your life for me?” (John 13:38) Bathe the situation in prayer for humility, love, grace, unity, forgiveness, truth. Surrender yourself to Jesus in every way. The most important thing to do is to put Jesus at the very center of all you say, think and do. Follow these steps prayerfully under the guidance of the Spirit. When you find yourself in conflict, the following are the “rules of engagement” at Heritage, as they are derived directly from God’s Word.
To be healthy we must handle conflict in the Biblical way, and when we do so we’ll find that good can come out of it. So the question is not if we will have disagreements, but whether we will be a healthy family, not a dysfunctional one in how we deal with it. But when conflict is handled well, it can actually bring us closer together, rather than divide us. It’s an unfortunate part of the reality of community life. 10 Biblical Steps for Conflict ResolutionĬhurch is family, and families sometimes fight.
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